January?

So January is over

I have fallen back into those old habits

The same ones I swore I would drop

I beat my chest and told myself, “It’s done! Never again will I be caught in this same hole”.

Done and dusted, I thought

Gone with 2016, or so I thought.

It’s been a little over 31 days and I am right back there

Thinking the same limiting thoughts

Not doing the things I should do

Doing the things I shouldn’t do.

But, January, I thought you heard me

I thought you saw the words I wrote in that worn journal

The same ones I wrote with so much vehemence, hitting my chest as I did

That was supposed to signify the seriousness with which I uttered those words.

What happened January?

I thought we were going to do great things together

I thought we were going to make magic!

What happened January?

Why didn’t I immediately become those words I wrote on that cold harmattan night in December?

The same words I said with so much sincerity and hope.

Why am I right back on doubtsville, fearstreet, and all the other streets I had vowed not to tread?

31 days was all it took.

Just 31 days…

I say hello to February with equal parts trepidation and hope

Is this January with a different name?

 

Image: pixabay.com

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4 thoughts on “January?

  1. …From my experience, each of these attempts teaches and builds strength…
    Now ain’t this the truth! It definitely does, but sometimes I wish the process was automatic and doesn’t have to hurt so much, you know? But it is what it is, we keep moving.

    Thanks for stopping by 🙂

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