My Boss and I

My Boss and I (5)

So I know I am not supposed to comment on matters revolving around my boss and his family, but not when it puts my life in danger. He is always involved in quarrels with his wife and that is how they will make me the middle person. His wife will call me to ask, “where is your oga?” and finish with “Tell him not to come home o!” My boss will call me asking, “did my wife call you? Call her back and tell her that I am coming home at 6pm sharp and she should get ready.” That is how I am delivering messages upandan like one zombie. Of course, I can’t say that I don’t enjoy the quarrels, especially when he’s on the phone with her and you can hear his wife saying, “I will beat you this night, just come home first.” And he will say, “that is how you like making mouth.” I usually just laugh out loud at this two in their 50s acting like some drunk teenagers in love.

So last week Friday, while driving back from court, he started lamenting about a quarrel that must have ensued between them this morning. I just sat listening and feeling sorry for him until his lamenting got out of hand. This time, he started shouting “oooo God! Why me?” and while at it, he kept taking his hands off the steering wheel. Sometimes lifting both hands and his head up and at other times, he placed his head down on the steering wheel all the while yelling “why, why!” and the car was moving at a reasonably high-speed o! so I shouted, “sir, please stop! Park, please. I will meet you in the office, I am still single please.”
And surprisingly he replied, “oh my God, you mean I have been driving since?”

Ameh.

P.S. Catch previous episodes here

 

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