My Boss and I (4)

So I got this message on Thursday: “Mr. My Boss and I, I can’t say I don’t find your work interesting, but I think you intentionally instigate your boss to do silly things so that you can have a story.”

Now, I can’t really deny that, but I think sometimes my boss instigates me to instigate him.
For example, on Friday after work he suggested we go out and have fun and said, “we are going to the park since it’s children’s day. I want to mark children’s day for you.”
I agreed and on getting there, I suggested we ride the roller coaster and insisted he joins me.
By the time that thing started moving ehn, it was slowly at first o, then suddenly the thing started going soooooo fast and veeeeeery high.

My oga was just shouting: “Jesus Jesus Jesus, Blood of Jesus, My Father please deliver me, Jesus save me!”
Me I was just laughing my ass out (although I felt a little scared) .

When we got down, he was just throwing up all over the place. I simply drove him home, handed him over to his family and went my way.
You know that’s not my fault. *Shrugs*

You can check out episodes one, two, three.

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My Boss and I (3)

Since I started the My boss and I series in February, I have been getting a lot of feedbacks; comments, messages, constructive criticisms and the other kind of criticism, on my blog, Instagram, twitter, Facebook and others.
On Monday, last week, I got this message via email:

“Dear Ameh, I have been following your series on you and your boss and I must confess that I look forward to new things from you everyday. Thanks for the little laughter you try to force out even when I’m down.
P.S. Expect your sack letter soon o *lol* “

I think that last paragraph was meant to be a joke, but it kinda sounded like a prophecy to me and that was when I had an epiphany; “what if my boss is actually planning to sack me in the most humiliating way ever?”.
Mehn! I couldn’t sleep well all through that week.
So an idea struck me. I was gonna find out what my boss was planning.

So on Friday, I drafted a letter of appointment using the letterhead of a very popular firm in Abuja and took it to my boss.
“Sir I got employed” I said excited. His eyes widened in shock, “employed?” he asked, now a bit confused too, so I handed the letter to him.

At this point the man was so devastated that he was almost crying.
He started saying things like: “What did I ever do to you? “Did I offend you?” “See if you want me to increase your salary, I will.”

When I noticed he was going to cry, I told him I was just joking and that I just wanted to know if he was planning to fire me.
He got so angry, he told me to get out of his office.
As I was walking out I said, “sir, about that salary increment, are you serious about it?”
Angrily he said “get out of my office before I sack you.”

Ameh.

 

You can catch up on the first instalment here and the second, here.

My Boss and I (2)

It is no longer news that our cherished and beloved subsidy has been removed from office and fuel is now selling for 145naira per litre. However, some Nigerians have taken the removal of subsidy very personal, and this may be due to the financial benefits they enjoyed when he was still in office. At least they got to save 60naira for every litre that they purchased when subsidy was the supreme leader.

Some of the loyal followers of subsidy, who are being robbed of their benefits, have taken it upon themselves to express their anger everywhere they go(like MTN), and my boss happens to be one of them.
Couple of days back, we stopped at a filing station to get fuel when my boss started again o.
“What is wrong with this country? What is wrong with the president? Are we fools? Are we animals? Why do you treat us like one?”. On and on he kept ranting.
Truth be told I felt embarrassed thus needed a way to stop him. So an idea struck me.

“Sir, I know a place where fuel is still sold for 85naira per litre.”
“What!” he exclaimed
“For real” I replied.
He quickly jumped in the car and we started out, leaving the long NNPC queue behind. I made sure we drove until his fuel got finished.
That was when he noticed and said

“There’s no such filing station right?”
“No there’s none. I just needed you to stop talking”. I replied
“So why didn’t you just tell me to stop talking?” he asked.
“You wouldn’t have stopped sir. Sir this is just best for the both of us, let’s just buy from black market and go back to the office because I’m sure you don’t want to go and stay on that queue from the back again”.

He didn’t say anything o. He just bought fuel from black market entered his car and told me to meet him at the office.

Ameh.

Errr… I’m thinking his days are numbered in that office. What do you guys think?

If you missed the first part, you can check it out here